Stress

We all have it. It appears in a variety of forms: getting stuck in traffic, being late to a meeting, messing up a meal, staring at a pile of bills, planning for the future, worrying about the evils of this world coming to our town. Stress can be all consuming. It can affect our health, our relationships and our overall sense of well being. Aside from selling all of our worldly possessions and taking a vow of silence in a Buddhist temple, what are we to do? How do we manage our myriad stress factors?

Step One: Breath. Breath 4 seconds in, hold 4 seconds, breath our 4 seconds, repeat until you feel better.

Step Two: Get organized. Having a plan written down can make a chaotic series of tasks and problems seem manageable. Break your day/week/month/year down and smaller tasks and start checking them off the list.


Step Three: Be grateful. Gratitude is not just for Thanksgiving anymore. We live in an amazing time and our problems often pale in comparison. If you have a home and family and food, you are doing pretty well. Smile and take stock of good things in your life.

Step Four: Take time for you. Schedule time to do things that you enjoy. Read, exercise, play an instrument, play with your kids, fly a kite. Whatever makes you happy, do that regularly and forget about the bad day you had or the big project looming on the horizon.

Step Five: Relate. We often think of ourselves and our problems as unique. We might be but our problems are not. Everyone alive has problems and most of them are similar.

Only you can choose how you respond to things when they pop up. Stress is your bodies' response to external stimulus; you get to choose whether or not you smile or frown.

Choose to smile.

Jack

Life Long Learner

Whether we know it or not, we are all life long learners. We start at birth. The world comes at us full speed and we learn at breakneck speed: Language, culture, food, play, skills, crafts, music, art, sports, etc. All learned behaviors. Yet most adults reach a point where they feel they no longer need to keep learning. They hit a plateau of knowledge and abilities that allow them to go about their daily lives without much struggle, their world view set and their skill set honed. They might be a master craftsman or a successful business person, a school teacher or a law enforcement officer. They have reached a level where active learning is no longer required. They can do their jobs and live their lives with the skills and knowledge they already have. This is a dangerous place to be. If this is you, keep reading.

We are our best selves when we are humbled by our own lack of skills or knowledge. Deluding yourself into thinking you are "good enough" is the same as throwing in the towel. The good enough mentality breeds complacency.  If we stop seeking to improve ourselves, we cease growth. Every day we wake up with an opportunity to learn something new. Even little bits of learning can go a long way.

If you are already an expert at something, it can be highly valuable to start over as a novice at something new. I have spent 7 years improving my professional skills. In the last year, I started taking piano lessons from man who has been playing piano for 60+ years. In the same way a parent teaches their child the English language, he has taught me the language of music. Learning is a skill that must be practiced. We are so used to instant return that often, if we aren't immediately good at something, we write it off as "I'm just no good at blank." In reality, nobody is "just good" at anything. Some skills might come easier to some people, but we all have the capacity to acquire any skill set we desire.

Most successful people in any field are innately good learners. They seek knowledge. They recognize their knowledge gaps and seek to find the remedy, either by filling the gaps or finding experts in that field. Their constant self reflection, honesty and hunger to get better are their secrets to success. We must strive to be life long learners, no matter how rocky the road gets or how successful we become. It will keep us grounded and help us stay true to ourselves. And it will make us better.

Jack

Back on the Horse

Hello all.

It has been a minute since my last post. Life gets busy. Babies are born, scenery changes, responsibilities shift. Throughout all of these changes, one thing remains constant: the drive to consistently improve.

Aren't we good enough already? I don't have time to focus on myself. I have too much on my plate. This mentality is how people get stuck on a plateau. We go to school, graduate, get a job, start taking on personal and financial responsibilities and one day we wake up and find that most of our effort is put toward things that don't get us excited. We establish routines and habits and get set in our ways. Parts of our lives get put on autopilot; drive the same routes to work, cook the same meals, do the same workouts, hang out at the same bars, etc. We have now entered the comfort zone.  This might feel good, but eventually we will feel stagnant, like something is missing. The missing element? Learning, growth and improvement.

How do we get better? Where do we start? A good jump off point is to examine your weaknesses. We tend to hide our weaknesses for fear of being exposed. Talk to your friends and family (and coworkers) and ask for an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. They will most likely list some things that are not apparent to you (and some that are). Pick the one you most want to improve and make a conscious effort to work on it daily. For me, it is a compulsion to be on my phone. I find myself browsing a variety of apps for articles, news and other random things any time I find a pause in life.  While a smart phone can be a powerfully enabling tool, it should not be our default activity. The tipping point for me was having my first child. I don't want to think constant device use is the norm.

Another way to grow and improve is by learning something new. There are so many free online learning sites (Khan Academy, Tutor.com, Codecademy, to name a few) that you can learn most anything you want. Have an idea for an app? Learn to build apps for free. Want to brush up on your math, history or sciences? Take class for free at any level. Knowledge is out their just waiting to be had. And often, the process of deciding what to learn will reveal refine other areas you might want to improve. And as always, read read read.

 Challenge your status quo. Get out of your comfort zone. Keep and open mind. Talk to new and different people with different world views. The world is constantly changing around you; adapt, learn, improve and change with it.

It's good to be back.

Thanks,

Jack